theChat.scot

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This question might come when a child is curious or learning about their vulva or penis, or the words we use. If they ask: What is a vulva? What is a penis? we have suggested responses in this part of the Chat. When they hear the term ‘private parts’ they might then ask: but what are my private parts?

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3, 4 and 5-year-olds

A child this age can be introduced to the idea that parts of the body are private. They will be learning the names for parts of their body at this age through listening to you and others using the words we want them to learn. They may not ask such a question but if they do, this simple answer should be enough.

Your private parts are the parts of your body that people don’t see. Your private parts are covered by your pants.

(For a boy) Your private parts are your penis and testicles and bottom.

(For a girl) Your private parts are your vulva and your bottom.

6, 7 and 8-year-olds

The idea that parts of the body are private is important learning at this age. There are materials to support talking and learning in the Talking About section for 6- to 8-year-olds. To respond to this specific question, if asked, you might use this response.

When something is private it belongs to you. Your private parts are the parts of your body that people don’t see. Your private parts are covered by your pants.

For boys, their private parts are their penis and testicles and bottom.

For girls, their private parts are their vulva and bottom.

No-one else should ask to see or touch your private parts. If this ever happens, I would like you to come tell me. You will never be in trouble if you tell me.

At these ages we can continue to remind children that parts of their body are private. It can be helpful to check in with their understanding. To respond to this specific question, if asked at this age, you might use this response.

When something is private it belongs to you. Your private parts are the parts of your body that people don’t see. Your private parts are covered by your pants.

For boys, their private parts are their penis and testicles and bottom.

For girls, their private parts are their vulva and bottom. As girls grow up their breasts will also be private. Older girls and women will think of their breasts as private parts.

I can (your parent or carer can) ask you about your private parts or see them, to help you learn or keep clean, or if you are not well.

When you are with me (your mum/dad/parent/carer) a doctor or nurse might ask to see your private parts. No-one else should ask to see or touch your private parts. If this ever happens, I would like you to come tell me. You will never be in trouble if you tell me.

If there is a need to answer this question for a young person at this age, you can use the earlier response for 9- and 10-year-olds/11- and 12-year-olds.

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