This might be a question that many parents will find quite difficult to answer, it is okay to feel embarrassed or a bit surprised by such a question. However, like any other question we can do our best to answer. This is also an example of a question, if asked by a younger child, that you would want to explore more to find out where they had heard the words. You could start with comments like: Let’s talk about that for a minute… Can you tell me what you know about that already? Okay, could you tell me where you heard that?
Both boys and girls experience wet dreams. You can adapt the answers we suggest responding to a son or daughter’s questions.
3, 4 and 5-year-olds
A child this age is unlikely to ask this question. If they have overheard older children talking, or you talking to siblings at home, you could reply as follows.
It’s a dream older boys and girls have. We can talk about that when you are older.
6, 7 and 8-year-olds
As with younger children it is unlikely that a child this age would ask such a question. But they might overhear others talking and be inquisitive.
A wet dream is a kind of dream a boy or girl can have when they are older than you. It happens because their body is changing and growing up. We will have chats about growing up and body changes when you are older.
9 and 10-year-olds
For some children the onset of puberty can begin at this age. They might hear peers or older children talking about it. If your 9- or 10-year-old is experiencing wet dreams you can find out ways to talk to them about it in Talking About Masturbation and Wet Dreams (11 and 12-year-olds). An initial response to the question is suggested here:
When a boy is asleep, he can get an erection. This is when his penis gets hard. A liquid called semen can come out of the boy’s erect penis.
When a girl is asleep her vulva can become wet and slippery.
Not everyone has wet dreams but if you do this is normal. Lots of changes happen to your body as you grow up.
11 and 12 year-olds
For some children the onset of puberty can begin at this age. It is possible they might experience a wet dream, or that they will hear peers or older children talking about it. If they hear this from peers, they may worry it will happen to them, or indeed if it’s not happening to them.
When a boy is asleep, he can get an erection. This is when his penis gets hard. He might ejaculate. Ejaculation is when semen comes out of the boy’s erect penis.
When a girl is asleep her vulva can become wet and slippery.
Not everyone has wet dreams but if you do this is normal.
Lots of changes happen to your body as you grow up.
If you wake up in the morning and your pyjamas or sheets are wet and sticky, you have had a wet dream. If this happens to you, please just come and tell me.
There is more to support your conversations at home in Talking About Masturbation and Wet Dreams (11 and 12-year-olds).
13, 14 and 15 year-olds
16, 17 and 18 year-olds
When a boy is asleep, he can get an erection. This is when his penis gets hard. He might ejaculate. Ejaculation is when semen comes out of the boy’s erect penis.
When a girl is asleep her vulva can become wet and slippery.
If this happens in your sleep it’s called a wet dream.
Not everyone has wet dreams but if you do this is normal.
If you wake up in the morning and your pants or pyjamas and sheets are wet and sticky, you have had a wet dream.
If this happens, take off your pants or pyjamas. Remove your sheets and put them where you put things to wash. Wash yourself and put on clean underwear and clothes. If this happens to you, and you are worried about it at all, please just come and tell me.
There is more to support your conversations at home in Talking About Masturbation and Wet Dreams (13 to 15-year-olds).
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