If a child or young person asks this question, there are suggestions for your response below. This would be an example of a question where you would want to find out more about why such a question is being asked. This might be a personal experience or worry, or a worry for a friend. And of course, it can just be a straightforward request for good information.
Interest in their question can be explored gently, so as not to make the child worried or feel they have done or said something wrong. You could start with comments like: Let’s talk about that for a minute… Can you tell me what you know about that already? Okay, could you tell me where you heard that?
A worrying thing can be if your child makes a comment about rape that they think is (or are repeating as) humorous, or you feel is derogatory to girls or women. You can say you find that upsetting, but explore: Let’s talk about that for a minute… Okay, could you tell me where you heard that?
If you have any concerns for your child or for another child or young person you can call ParentLine for free: 08000 28 22 23 or go here for a link to the webchat and email facility: How Children 1st Parentline Can Support You | Children 1st
3, 4 and 5-year-olds
Children of this age are unlikely to ask this question. if they hear the word used and ask what it means you could offer the initial response for older children, below.
6, 7 and 8-year-olds
Children of this age are unlikely to ask this question unless they hear the word used by older children or perhaps hear it on TV. This short answer is offered and as suggested above, it will be important to explore why the question is being asked, and what your child might already think the term means.
Rape is a kind of violence and means that a person has been hurt. It is never okay to hurt another person. Its really important to talk and share with me if you ever have any worries about being hurt, or someone else being hurt.
9 and 10-year-olds
11 and 12 year-olds
Rape is a type of sexual assault. So, it is a kind of violence and something sexual that is forced on a person. This is always wrong. A person is never to blame when someone hurts them. Girls and women and boys and men can be raped.
If someone is hurt or abused, then they will need help and support. If you ever have any worries about this, or if you know someone who does, we can talk about how to help.
13, 14 and 15 year-olds
16, 17 and 18 year-olds
Rape is a type of sexual assault. It involves sexual intercourse or sexual penetration of the vagina, anus or mouth without someone’s consent. Girls and women and boys and men can be raped. If a person is raped, they are never to blame.
It is important for someone who has experienced any kind of sexual assault to get medical help and emotional support. Rape Crisis Scotland has a confidential helpline 08088 010302 you can also email and there is a webchat. There is also this NHS service https://www.nhsinform.scot/turn-to-sarcs that can help in the days after a person has been assaulted. A person can get help and support immediately, but it doesn’t matter how long they wait, there is still help and support available for when they are ready.
Rape is only one kind of sexual assault; other things can happen too that are also sexual violence. Help and support are really important for people if they experience any sexual assault or violence. If you ever have any worries about this, or if you know someone who does, we can talk about how to help.
There is more support for conversations and learning together about sexual violence and rape in the Talking About section for 13-, 14- and 15-year-olds and 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds.