theChat.scot

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Talking about…My body belongs to me (bodily autonomy)

When we help our child to understand the idea of bodily autonomy this means helping them to understand that their body is their body, it belongs to them. With the idea of bodily autonomy, we can help our child build self-confidence and positivity about their body. Of course, we also want our child to understand that no one should ask to see their body, or to touch them without permission. We can do this at this age by being positive and not worrying them at all.

There is more in this section of the Chat to help you think about supporting talking and learning on the topics of Names of Parts of My Body and Parts of My Body are Private.

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How do we say hello?

You can give your child some choices about how to say hello to people – whether that is how they greet others at home, or when they meet other children or adults at nursery or school. The options can be a hi-5, handshake, a hug or a simple ‘hello’. They can also learn that they can change their mind. Take the time too to help them notice other children’s choices (and that they might also change day-to-day).

One thing about how we say hello – as well as how we say goodbye – is the expectations that other family members can have. From the early years we can establish that our wee ones do not have to go round giving family members kisses or hugs. Of course, they can choose to do so. You might have to explain this to family members, but you can help your child learn about bodily autonomy if they have choices in these circumstances.

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I like it when/I don’t like it when

Have check-ins and chats with your child about things they like and don’t like. You can talk about being at nursery or school, or on a playdate, or playing in the park. If you see that they appear to be uncomfortable in a social situation, ask gently in a conversation: Do you like it when… Do you not like it when…? You can help them think of strategies to make sure uncomfortable or unwarranted hugs or touching is stopped. Of course, this might be something you need to do when it comes to adults, for example explaining to a family member that your child doesn’t want to be cuddled or lifted (unless they ask).

Part of this conversation can also introduce your child to acknowledging a feeling they have. Use what language you want to, but sometimes people talk about their ‘tummy voice’ – that feeling in your tummy where you ‘feel’ I don’t like that, that makes me feel uncomfortable, I’m a bit worried. If their tummy voice ever speaks to them, you can encourage them to listen and come tell you.

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Boss of my body

This song is great fun and might lead to a fair bit of singing along. The lyrics refer to that ‘uh oh’ feeling and of course to the idea of being ‘boss’ of their body.

Boss of My Body https://youtu.be/zAALZxa6NCw (2 minutes 33). As with all YouTube clips or material on any such platform, cue the clip to go to ensure it is what you intend, and skip adverts.

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Books and animations

You might like to read these books together. Your library or nursery might have them, or you can ask a library if they will order a book for you.

This is an early learning animation for younger children.

In simple reassuring language the author explains that children can decline a friendly hug or kiss, even from someone they love, and still be friends. The text and illustrations remind children that their feelings count. A positive and assertive approach.

Using familiar scenarios there are opportunities to unpack and discuss these important topics.

A picture book about a girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. Teaching personal boundaries, consent.

On his 6th birthday, Miles’ excitement is dimmed when he finds himself being pinched, hugged too tight, picked up and tickled by his well-intentioned family and decides he’s had enough! When Miles decrees that he is the “Boss of his body,” his whole family expresses support and respect for his personal boundaries.

Provides children with confidence about accepting and rejecting physical contact from others, helping to give children a voice in uncomfortable situations.

A book to teach young children how to resist uncomfortable touch.

A young child looks for animals’ signals, listens to people’s words, and learning that even if they like a hug sometimes, they don’t have to offer it every time. Respect and listening are emphasized.

A book to help children understand boundaries, using ‘red flag/green flag’ terminology.

Simple explanations for young children about body privacy and why private parts should be kept private.