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Talking about names for private parts of the body

Before we offer some help with talking with your child about names for private parts of their body it might be helpful to explain why children need to know these words.

Firstly, if we use the correct words children will learn that the genitals/private parts are just a part of their body, and so children need to know what to call them. We can help keep children healthy and safe throughout life if we avoid giving the message that their genitals (private parts) are something so embarrassing that we need to give them nicknames, or not refer to them at all. From an early age, we can teach children that the parts of their body that are private have names that we can all use and understand without embarrassment or shame. We all want our children to have a positive view of their body.

Secondly, when children know the names for parts of their body, they will be healthier and safer. This is because when a child knows the correct words and has the confidence to use them, they can tell you (and that it is okay to tell you) when something is sore or uncomfortable. They can also learn as they grow up that if someone touches them or shows them their genitals, or shows them a pictures or film of such, then they can tell you or a trusted adult exactly what has happened.

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The words we can use with our children are as follows.

There is also some suggestion as to how we can explain a bit more about the part of the body.

Vulva: Girls have a vulva. When a girl urinates/(pees/wees)/goes to the toilet, it comes out of her vulva.

Penis: Boys have a penis. When a boy urinates/(pees/wees)/goes to the toilet, it comes out of his penis.

Nipples: Boys and girls have nipples.

Scrotum and testicles: Boys have a little sack of skin that hangs under their penis. This is the scrotum. Inside there are little balls called the testicles.

As with all learning at this age, it is often best just to incorporate what we want to help our children to learn in the ways that we talk with them day-to-day. So, when they are in the bath or shower, or going to the toilet, we can use these words.

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A note on the use of the word vulva.

This may be new to some parents; you might be using the word vagina. The vulva is the external part of the female genitals that the child can see if she looks between her legs. The vagina is internal, the inner muscular canal that connects the vulva to the cervix and to the womb (uterus). It is helpful to talk about the vulva because that is what a child can see.

You will find answers to these questions in the Questions Children and Young People Ask section. They can be a good start to any conversation:

• What is a vulva? Why do girls have a vulva?
• What is a penis? Why do boys have a penis?
• What are my private parts?
• Why do boys have nipples?

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Books

These books will give your child information about their body and help with conversations at home. Your library or nursery might have them, or you can ask a library if they will order a book for you.

An illustrated introduction for the very young. It includes names for parts of the body, the senses, clothes, things we can do, and what our bodies need to stay healthy.

This book contains the answers to the many questions that curious children have about their bodies, including ‘How do I smell?’ ‘What makes me burp?’ ‘Why do I need to wash my hands?’ ‘Why is blood red?’ and many more.

Captures the vitality of young children learning about their bodies and themselves by naming, counting, discovering and comparing.