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Talking about how human life begins

Talking about how human life begins can arise when there is a pregnancy in the family, or your child notices a pregnant woman. The questions a child can ask can be: How did the baby get in your tummy? Does the baby grow in your tummy? These are questions we answered in the section of The Chat called Questions Children and Young People Ask – we repeat them here along with some other ideas about how to talk about how human life begins.

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How did the baby get in your tummy? Where did I come from?

For children this age we suggest you might say:

You were made in your mummy’s tummy. To make a baby you need a tiny little egg from a woman, and you need the seed from a man. Mummy and daddy shared the egg and the seed. They made you. You grew and grew in a safe place called the womb until you were born.

If IVF is part of your journey as a family, it will likely be something you chat about. The suggested response here is written for the child who has been conceived by IVF. Language can be changed to describe the process more generally, say to a sibling or a child with a general question. You can of course adapt this text to fit your family make-up and the reasons for use of IVF.

To make a baby you need a tiny little egg from a woman, and you need the seed from a man. Some parents need help to make their baby. We needed some help to make you. So, a doctor collected eggs from mum. Dad gave the doctor some sperm. Then the doctor combined the egg and sperm in the laboratory, this is called making an embryo. The embryo was the beginning of our baby, the beginning of you. The doctor put the embryo back into mum’s womb. Now mum was pregnant. You grew and grew until you were born. When parents get this kind of help from the doctor it is called IVF which is a short way to say in vitro fertilisation.

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Does the baby grow in your tummy?

For children this age we suggest you might say:

The baby grows in the mummy’s tummy in a safe place called the womb. The baby is very cosy and safe there. A baby lives and grows inside the woman’s womb for 9 months. For the baby, the womb is like a bag of warm cosy water and the baby can hear the mum’s heartbeat like a drum.

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Do we need to talk about sex?

If this conversation is happening with a more inquisitive or mature child, you might want to give more of a response to their questions or interest in how human life begins. The further explanation we provide here is intended to be factual and straightforward. Your child might ask what sex is, or they might respond to the earlier explanation with: Well yeah, but how does the egg and the seed meet? 

When a woman and man love each other, they can have sex, this is a special thing that grownups can do. When they have sex, the man’s penis goes inside the woman’s vagina and sperm (the man’s seed) comes out and goes to meet the egg inside the woman’s body.

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What if there are even more questions?

This is in the nature of chatting with your child, isn’t it? While we can’t predict what might come up, here are a few typical questions and short answers that can hopefully address what the curious child needs to know. (Remember to check out the Questions Children and Young People Ask for even more support with responding to questions).

Can men have babies? No, because men don’t have a womb. Men can be a daddy.

Can children have a baby? No, only grown-ups can have a baby. You must have a grown-up body to be able to grow a baby.

Can you have more than one baby at a time? Yes, some people have twins, which means they have two babies. This happens when more than one sperm meets with more than one egg. Or sometimes an egg can divide when it is fertilised and make twins. Some people can even have 3 or 4 babies at the same time, but this doesn’t happen often.

Does everyone need to have a baby? No. It’s a woman’s choice whether she wants to have a baby or not.

Can gay/lesbian people have babies? Gay or lesbian people can be mums or dads too. At the start to make a baby you need the egg from a woman and the seed/semen from a man. Only a woman can be pregnant and give birth to a baby.

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your school or library might have them, or you can ask the library if they will order a book for you.

The book provides children age seven and up with the answers they are looking for through age-appropriate, reassuring words and accurate, up-to-date, inclusive art. Throughout the book, two cartoon characters. 

Children ask questions about their bodies and how they were made. This book answers these questions and will help children feel comfortable about their own bodies.

Helps answer questions children ask about how they began. 

An introduction to the facts of life for younger children that follows the story of a new life from the moment of conception to the birth of a baby.

For children up to 6 years old, this book about pregnancy tells the parallel story of mother and baby from hearing the thumpity-thump of baby’s heartbeat to that first meeting.