theChat.scot

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Talking about my feelings and feeling safe

As parents we can help our children understand, talk about and manage their feelings. As they learn to do so we are supporting their emotional and social skills. You might hear teachers, or other professionals, talk about emotional literacy, this means your child being able to recognise what they are feeling, and what others might be feeling, so that they can better manage social situations. Another thing you might hear is the term self-regulation – this means helping children to manage strong emotions, so that they can seek out help or learn how to calm down when they are feeling overwhelmed.

With all that said, let’s not forget how young our children are at this age, at times they will feel strong emotions, and perhaps be a bit overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions as to how you can talk about feelings together.

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Talking about and acknowledging our feelings

At this age children can learn about how to notice and name their feelings. You can ask how are you feeling right now? You can observe and name the feelings you sense are there in the moment or see being acted out. From happy to sad, excited to bored, anxious to excited… lots to name and take time to acknowledge as they happen.

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Short films to watch together

These films show children from Edinburgh primary schools talking about feelings and ways to understand and cope when feelings are strong.

Why it’s important to talk about your feelings: https://youtu.be/sOVLP3TLIYY?si=ZhCV76kD80zCQXGD (2 minutes 44 seconds)

Tips for when you’re feeling low: https://youtu.be/l9in_niXw2U?si=YWKsAk5Ow4VjbJwA (3 minutes 6 seconds)

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The Feelings Song

You can watch The Feelings Song together https://youtu.be/UsISd1AMNYU  (duration 3 minutes 12 seconds). It is a gentle exploration of all the feelings that come and go, with animation and lyrics on screen.

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The importance of feeling safe

Feeling safe is crucial for a child’s healthy development. When a child feels safe, they can play, form relationships, and feel positive about themselves. Children who feel safe are better equipped to handle stressful situations and develop resilience, which is the ability to bounce back from adversity. What can we do as parents? We can give our child our love and affection, help them to talk about their feelings, be interested in their day-to-day lives at school and in the community, have boundaries that are consistent (these are the rules you have or the ways that you expect to do things), and try as best we can to have a routine.

There is other content here in the Chat that you might find helpful. In the section of The Chat called Questions Children and Young People Ask you will find some suggestions as to how to answer the question Why are some people mean? There are other related Talking About topics in this section for 6-, 7- and 8-year-olds: Being safe and happy online; Bullying; Identifying adults to trust/who to go to with a worry; and We are all unique and different.

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

Pilar loves ballet but auditioning makes her feel scared. She learns coping techniques.

Dr Seuss takes the reader on a journey through many different moods.

Anxious about school, soccer practice and monsters under his bed, baby bear worries despite his family telling him not to.

A soothing book of mindfulness to share with children, not just when emotions are running high. Encourages children to breathe themselves to happiness, untangling worries and calming emotions.