theChat.scot

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Talking about…Parts of my body are private

We can teach our children that parts of their body are private. We can help them understand that this means that no one (except their parent) should see or ask them about their private parts. This helps make sure they are safe.

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Have you heard of the PANTS rule and the Pantosaurus?

These have been created by the NSPCC, and they are a fun way to help children learn about what are their private parts. Your child might also be introduced to the rule and the song at school. You can find out more about the PANTS rule here: Let’s talk PANTS with Pantosaurus! | NSPCC and the Pantosaurus Song is here: https://youtu.be/_SzbMEVYiyg?si=ytwikKaywHny15nt

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You can also adapt what you say about this, depending on your family

So, for example some children will have baths together, or be quite free and relaxed being naked at home as they get dressed or ready for bed. Or they might be happy playing naked on the beach on summer holiday. All these things can be understood just by talking together – but the basic things you might want to talk about are here:

What does private mean? When something is private it belongs to you. Your private parts are the parts of your body that people don’t see. Your private parts are covered by your pants. For a boy, your private parts are your penis and testicles and bottom. For a girl, your private parts are your vulva and your bottom.

I can ask you about your private parts or see them, to help you learn or keep clean, or if you are not well. When you are with me (or other parent/carer) a doctor or nurse might ask to see your private parts. No-one else should ask to see or touch your private parts.

Have you heard what P.A.N.T.S stands for?
Private parts are private.
Always remember that your body belongs to you.
No means no.
Talk about secrets that upset you.
Speak up, someone can help.
Have you heard the Pantosaurus Song?
https://youtu.be/_SzbMEVYiyg?si=ytwikKaywHny15nt

You will have noticed that the PANTS information doesn’t mention the nipples/breasts of a girl or woman as a private part because it uses the idea of ‘pants’. You might want to introduce the idea (now or later) that as a girl grows, and for a woman, her breasts are private too.

You will find answers to these questions in the Questions Children and Young People Ask section. They can be a good start to any conversation:

• What are my private parts?
• What is a vulva? Why do girls have a vulva?
• What is a penis? Why do boys have a penis?

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

Humorous and insightful introduction to consent, an empowering guide for children.

A book to help children understand boundaries, using ‘red flag/green flag’ terminology.

For younger children, this Lift-the-Flap book contains the answers to the many questions that curious children have about their bodies, including ‘How do I smell?’ ‘What makes me burp?’ ‘Why do I need to wash my hands?’ ‘Why is blood red?’ and many more.

An illustrated children’s picture book on the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch. A tool to broach the subject of safe and unsafe touch in a non-threatening and age-appropriate way.

A picture book about an empowered girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. Teaching personal boundaries, consent.

The 26 ‘key’ letters and accompanying words will help children to learn and consolidate age appropriate, crucial and life-changing body safety and consent skills.