theChat.scot

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Talking about…We are all unique and different

At this age children are aware that people are individual and unique. They are also increasingly independent and have their own experiences at school or in the community. They can hear negative or discriminatory language, or experience that themselves. As parents we can help our child to foster empathy, encourage open-mindedness and help them understand the world around them. We can help our children to understand and respect differences and of course, to love every unique aspect of who they are.

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Children will ask questions when they observe a difference

When children notice a difference in another child or adult they might ask: Why is that boy…? Why is that woman…? If this is overheard, this can feel embarrassing for you, and you might worry about embarrassing the other person. In such situations the question is likely to come because your child is curious.

If your child uses words that sound disrespectful or hurtful (it is likely they don’t mean to) you can say something along the lines of not using those words, that we must always be polite and kind, and remember we are all different, you might want to suggest ‘we can talk more about this later’ (then divert their attention to something else). If the other person seems offended by the child’s question you can say ‘She’s young and doesn’t mean any harm, I’m sorry, I will chat to her later’. Then of course you can pick up the conversation with your child later, talk about the difference they saw and why that was interesting for them, remind them always to use kind words, and suggest they can ask questions with a quiet voice, or later.

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More about diversity in the Chat

Your conversations about being unique and different might be supported by looking at other parts of the Chat.

In the section of The Chat called Questions Children and Young People Ask you will find some suggestions as to how to answer these questions:

• Why am I different form her/why is he different from me?
• Why are some people mean?
• Why does she have two mummies?

There are also other Talking About topics that you can look at that might connect with conversations about being unique and different: My family/All our families are different; Some people have a disability; and Some people are lesbian or gay.

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

A book of poetic self-love and body positivity declarations for all young girls.

True tales of amazing boys (who became famous and not so famous men) who changed the world.

The stories of heroic women from around the world.

A boy with facial deformity is bullied – but this is overcome with the support of family and friends. Everyone learns differences can be celebrated.

This is a lyrical ode to loving who you are, respecting others, and being kind to one another.

This practical guide combines proven cognitive-behavioural therapy methods used by child psychologists in schools with simple activities to help your child grow their self-esteem.

Charlie has autism. His brain works in a special way. It’s harder for him to make friends or show his true feelings. But as his big sister tells us, for everything that Charlie can’t do well, there are plenty more things that he’s good at.

Not all princesses dress in pink. Some play in bright red socks that stink, blue team jerseys that don’t quite fit, accessorized with a baseball mitt, and a sparkly crown.