Being Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual

Talking about being Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual

Talking about people being lesbian, gay or bisexual will be influenced to some extent by the visibility of lesbian, gay or bisexual people in your family life and the friendship groups of your child. As a parent you may be lesbian or gay or bisexual. Your child might have siblings, relatives or there may be family friends that are. Young people are also meeting and getting to know lesbian, gay and bisexual people at school or college, in the community and also online. In terms of conversations with teenagers, we can continue to explain sexual orientation through the lens of love and relationships and have chats – if and when they want to – about their own developing understanding of their sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation explained

A short animation from amaze.org https://youtu.be/P5x5Fo7rMvY
(When watching films on YouTube remember to skip adverts.)

Coming out

Perhaps your child is talking about being lesbian, gay or bisexual. Around 1 in 10 young people are lesbian, gay or bisexual. This definition of what coming out means might help. The animations you will find at the links below might be something you can share or watch together. If your child has a friend who is thinking of coming out, they could share them.

Coming out is when someone tells someone else their sexual orientation.

Love is Love: Free to be me: an animation from amaze.org: https://amaze.org/video/love-is-love/

If you think your child may be lesbian, gay or bisexual you can give positive messages about how much you love them and you do so equally whether heterosexual, gay/lesbian or bisexual. You can tell them they can always speak to you about who they like and how they feel.

Talking about homophobia and biphobia

As you chat it can help to name the kinds of discrimination that LGB people can face.

Homophobia is about having a negative attitude or behaviour towards someone just because they are lesbian or gay. Biphobia is the same thing against someone who is bisexual. Homophobia and biphobia can include abusive language or threats or violence against LGB people of any age.

If your child uses derogatory language

If your child uses a negative slang word for lesbian, gay or bisexual people, or says something that you feel is discriminatory, or sounds like prejudice, take a moment and explore what they have said and where they might have heard such a thing. While we have made progress across society, children will still hear homophobic language. While we would hope our teenage children understand the impact of words, some of these terms are commonplace. To get into a conversation about this, be gentle rather than scolding. You could start with: Let’s talk about that for a minute…

More support for your chats

There are other Talking About topics that you can look at that might connect with conversations about equality and diversity: Talking about: Equality and rights for women and girls; Talking about: How people talk about gender/gender identity/equality and rights for trans people.