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Talking about being safe and happy online

Children can have a lot of fun and learn when they are online. Perhaps they have access to a smartphone or tablet. They might be involved in playing games online. Or watching content on YouTube. Or perhaps you have decided to keep their online access to a minimum. Whatever your thoughts and approaches on this, now and in the future, the content here will help you talk to your child about being safe and happy online.

A helpful approach is to discuss what your child does online from an early age – where they go, what they see and who they talk to should never be a secret. It can help for them to understand that what they do online should be like what they do in the real world – for example, they would never give someone they don’t know their address or give them a photo.

You also want your child to be positive about people and interactions with others, whether in-person or online. But you want them to begin to build skills and encourage them to trust their instinct when something is or feels wrong or upsetting. At this age you are their safe and trusted person.

Your learning and awareness come first

Before you can support your child and help keep them safe you could spend a bit of time bringing yourself up to date with what a parent needs to know and can do. There are a few places to go.

Being your child’s go to person

From an early age every parent wants their child to know that they can come to them with questions, when they want to share an achievement, when they have a worry. As your child’s online life develops over time you need to be that person regarding what they see, hear and do online. This suggested text can be used often, and at times when there isn’t an obvious worry, to make sure they understand you are there for them.  You can also adapt this text to identify other people you would be happy for your child to go to.

It’s great to watch things, play games and have fun online. I’d really like you to share and tell me what things you are doing online.

If you feel upset about anything you see or if someone says something which makes you feel bad or worried inside, tell me, I will always listen. I won’t be annoyed with you. I will be happy that you have come to me.

How our children behave online

Children might not see much difference between being online and meeting people and doing things in-person. But sometimes they can forget that how they behave online should be the same as how they behave towards others in real life. It might be worth having those chats, that when they are online chatting or gaming with friends, you still expect them to be kind and respectful and not to get involved in being mean to others. And of course, if they are the person who is a target for anything upsetting, to come speak to you.

What is the world wide web? How does the internet work?

Children may be interested in these questions: If so, BBC bitesize has information and short films. Watch and chat together. 

Resources on CEOP

CEOP is a national agency that works to support the safety and wellbeing of children online. They have produced Band Runner, an animated series of short films and games for 8-10 year olds that might still be helpful and of interest to your 11/12 year old: 8-10s | CEOP Education The Play Like Share animations are also for 8-10s but might be of interest 8-10s: Watch CEOP also have pages directed at keeping children aged 11 – 18 safe, take a look and consider whether any aspects might be suitable for your 11/12 year old: 11-18s | CEOP Education

Pornography

It may be upsetting to have to consider this, but children can be exposed to pornography. They can come across it easily and accidentally. Or an older child might share something with them. If this has happened, or you want to give your child some information so that they understand what they might see, these words might help.

Sex is something that adults can do when they love and care for each other.

Pornography is sometimes called ‘porn’. Pornography is a photograph, image, film or words that are about something sexual. Porn can show people’s private parts or show people having sex.

Some porn can be upsetting because it shows a person being hurt or abused. It is wrong for an adult or other young person to show you pornography. If someone shows you this kind of thing, or if you see something by accident that you don’t understand or is upsetting, it will help to tell me (an adult you trust). Please come speak to me about it.

Over time, there are the key protective messages we want our children to understand.

This might feel like a lot. It’s not the intention to suggest you sit down and read these with your child. They are the kinds of important learning points that can come up every now and then, maybe one or two at a time, whenever it feels right. If a message isn’t right for your child at the age they are now, it will be at some point in the future so just keep it in mind.

If you ever get that feeling in your body that tells you something isn’t right, maybe you feel a bit worried, then tell me (an adult you trust).

  1. People you don’t know are strangers.
  2. When you are online or playing a game, people are not always who they say they are.
  3. Keep your personal information private. Don’t tell people online where you live or the school you go to.
  4. Never take a photo of you and send it to a stranger, even if they ask. Never share a photo of another person like a friend or sister or brother. Photos are also private.
  5. If someone says or does something that upsets you, tell me (You can name other adults you want your child to know they can go to).
  6. Don’t arrange to meet someone you only know online. If you are thinking about this, tell me (an adult you trust).
  7. If you ever get that feeling in your body that tells you something isn’t right, maybe you feel a bit worried, then tell me (an adult you trust).

Reporting online safety concerns

The NSPCC provides information about what to do and how to report online abuse or inappropriate content online: Reporting online safety concerns | NSPCC

You can also go here for step-by-step instructions on how to make a report on some of the most popular social media platforms. They can also help if you have reported harmful content to a site and there has been no resolution: Submit a Report of Harmful Content for Review

Books

You might like to read these books together. Your school or library might have them, or you can ask the library if they will order a book for you.

Ant Clancy: Games Detective

Ruth Morgan
ISBN 978-1910080993

Designed to appeal to children with a love of gaming, As the story unfolds, the line between the gaming world and reality is blurred even further in the race to uncover the truth.

Adam wins the internet

Adam Beales
ISBN 1526655667

There’s nothing thirteen-year-old Adam wants more than to become a successful YouTuber, but it has always seemed impossible. Then one day a mysterious pop-up ad calling itself Popularis Incrementum promises to make his dreams come true.