theChat.scot

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Talking about body image

As parents, we want our children to grow up with confidence and self-acceptance. This means being positive about who they are, which includes having a positive view of their body. In the teenage years young people can feel pressures about how they look. They may be comparing themselves with other young people, or with the images they see across social media. At this age, as we chat, we can help build the confidence and understanding they need to face the increasing pressures about body image that will come in the teenage years.

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What is body image? What is the ideal way to look? Why does it matter?

This text will help you explain what body image is and why it matters. We can introduce this conversation as part of chats about what they are viewing or when they mention how someone looks, especially when they have a critical view of that person’s body. These suggestions might help start important ongoing conversations.

All our bodies are different, and that’s a good thing. How our bodies look is only one part of who we are.

Body image describes our idea of how our body looks and how we think it is viewed by others. This can include our thoughts and feelings about our height, weight, shape, skin, colour, and our appearance and attractiveness more broadly. We can have positive or negative body image. We might think positively or negative because of things like what we see around us in our family and friends and what we see and hear online.

An ideal is an idea of something that’s perfect, but it normally only exists in the imagination. So, the appearance ideal is the idea of the perfect way to look, even if it doesn’t naturally exist.

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Bodies: Different shapes and sizes. All beautiful!

A short animation from amaze.org to watch together or share Puberty: Bodies: Different Shapes and Sizes. All Beautiful! – amaze

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Things to talk about

As part of chats about body image you can pick up on comments or stories from your child about whether they or friends are talking about or restricting food intake by fasting or skipping meals or throwing away food. You can chat about the things they see and the messages they pick up across social media about cosmetic procedures: Why do people want to change the way they look? What ideal are the reaching for? You might also notice they are using AI to change how they look n things they post. You can explore what they are using and why so?

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Top tips for a positive body image

You could ask: What would be your advice to others to help them to be positive about their body? In the chat you could suggest:

I always ask myself: how real is what we see on social media?

When you are online and you see stuff that says that girls or boys or women or men have to look a certain way, just remember that we are all different and that is okay.

I’d say never make bad comments to a person about how they look. Support your friends – remind them about how much you appreciate them for who they are.

If you have a question or a worry about your body or about how you look, speak to a me (a trusted adult). Always remember that you are unique and special.

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Childline: How you look

Lots of information and short films to share and explore together on the theme of how you look. How you look | Childline

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Books

These books might be of interest. Maybe you could both read them and chat. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

A handbook from US psychologist Charlotte Markey aims to help girls understand, accept and appreciate their changing bodies. A reassuring guide to growing up and developing a healthy body image.

A handbook from US psychologist Charlotte Markey aims to help boys understand, accept and appreciate their changing bodies. A reassuring guide to growing up and developing a healthy body image.

Supporting teenagers to develop or retain a positive body image.