Talking about condoms
A chat about condoms might be part of ongoing chats about contraception or sexual health. There is a lot here, but in different sections so that you can return to it whenever you (or your teenager) need to.
What is a condom?
Condoms are made of latex (a very thin rubber material) or polyurethane. They provide a barrier so that when a man ejaculates his semen does not go into the other person’s body.
There are 2 kinds of condoms. There is the external condom that fits over a man’s penis, and internal condom, that fits inside a woman’s vagina.
A man fits the condom over his erect penis. When he has sex, he ejaculates semen and sperm from the end of his penis. The semen and sperm collect in the condom so it cannot enter the vagina, mouth or anus (bottom) of his partner.
An internal/female condom fits inside the vagina. When the man puts his penis inside the vagina during sex and ejaculates, the semen and sperm collects in the condom.
After using a condom, you carefully take it off the penis (or out of the vagina), making sure you don’t spill any of the collected semen and sperm. Then, wrap it in a tissue and put it in a bin.
These short films and animations might be helpful; you can share with your son or daughter.
Male condom: Condom demonstration.
A short film made by NHS explaining how to use a condom (duration 1 minute 43)
https://vimeo.com/684152273
Female/Internal condoms: How do they work?
A short film made by Brook explaining how to use a female/internal condom(duration 1 minute 5)
https://youtu.be/EfwstN51ZIw
Condoms: How to use them effectively.
Animation from amaze.org (duration 2 minutes 54)
https://youtu.be/oaLdNErJ-Fk
Condoms and contraception
Condoms are 98% reliable at preventing a pregnancy but only if they are used correctly. Some people use condoms alongside other forms of contraception to increase their confidence in preventing pregnancy.
What is lube?
Lube is a liquid or gel that people apply during sex to make the vulva, vagina, penis or anal area wetter or slippery. Lube can be used for vaginal sex if there is a lot of dryness and also if it makes sex more comfortable. If you have anal sex – penis in anus (bottom) sex – then both condoms and lube should be used together.
Lube should always be water-based or silicone based. Never use anything that is an oil or oil-based lubricant (like massage oil or baby oil) with male condoms as this can cause the condom to break.
Tips on condoms
You might want to think about giving your son or daughter condoms so that they can get used to them, what they feel like or how they work. For boys, it is good to practice what kind of fit they need. Other than that, these are also useful tips.
Are they all the same? No, they come in different sizes. They can be different length or different width.
When a condom fits properly it is more effective – so fit is really important. Also, the better fit, the better it will feel. It helps for boys to practice with different types and sizes of condom on their own to make sure they use one that’s comfortable and fits well.
Male condoms also come in different colours, some have flavours or different thickness or shape to give a different feel.
Flavoured condoms are only for oral sex, they should not be used for penetrative sex (when the penis goes in the vagina or anus).
What should you do if your condom bursts, rips or slips off when you are having sex?
If a condom comes off during sex do not put it back on. Use a new one.
Then, do one of these things:
Go to your local Sexual Health clinic as soon as you can. Time really matters if you need Emergency Contraception or you have been exposed to HIV.
Local chemists also provide emergency contraception. You can ask to speak to the Pharmacist when you go in.
Speak to an adult you trust and get information and help as soon as you can.
Condoms and protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
Condoms offer protection too. If an adult has an infection called a sexually transmitted infection (STI) it can be passed on to another person when they have sex. If a man or woman uses a condom this protects them from many STIs.
Where can you get condoms?
Young people (and adults too) can get condoms for free. You can check locally where they can be collected, there will be a local scheme where you live so for more information check your local NHS sexual health service website. Then in your chats you can direct your son or daughter where to go.
Free condoms are available in many places such as local health clinics, youth clubs, community centres, young people’s drop-ins as part of local free condoms services. There are some places that do free condoms by post.
You can buy condoms and lube in a lot of shops and supermarkets but the condoms you get for free are just as effective as those you can buy.