Talking about contraception
Talking about contraception before your teenage son or daughter has their first experience of sex helps them to think about preventing pregnancy when those first sexual experiences happen. There are lots of choices available to young people in terms of contraception. And whether your child is a girl or a boy, we can try to instil in both that thinking about contraception is a shared responsibility.
Talking about contraception
You might want to chat about the question: Can you think of any reasons why young people might not want to have a baby? And then chat about the different options that are available when a young person decides to have sex and wants to prevent a pregnancy.
So, you know that when a man and woman have sex, then the man might ejaculate sperm into the woman’s vagina. If the sperm meets the woman’s egg, she may become pregnant. If a woman and man are having sex but don’t want to have a baby, then they can use contraception. There are different kinds.
A woman can take a pill, have an injection or have a little implant put just under the skin on her arm. All these things are a medicine that stop the woman from becoming pregnant. They contain hormones that affect the woman’s reproductive system.
A woman can also have a small device fitted inside her uterus by a nurse or doctor – this is called an IUD or IUS.
There is one kind of contraception that a man can use. A condom. A man fits the condom over his penis when it is erect. During sex, his sperm comes out when he ejaculates. The sperm collects in the condom instead of going into the woman’s vagina. So, the sperm cannot meet the egg. There is also a condom that a woman can use. It is an internal condom that fits inside her vagina. During sex, the man’s sperm comes out when he ejaculates. The sperm collects in the internal condom so that it can’t meet the egg. So, it basically does the same job as the condom a man can use.
Decisions about contraception can be something both partners talk about, so both take responsibility to avoid getting pregnant.
You can get good advice and help to decide what kind of contraception would suit you when the time is right for you. You can go to the GP or to a young people’s sexual health service. We can keep talking about it.
I can go with you if you go to the GP or clinic and give you a bit of support. Or you could go with (insert a trusted person you would be happy for your child to take along for support).
What if I am under 16?
Across the Chat we have talked about how, as parents, we may want our children to wait until they are 16 or older before they have sex. We will also want them to understand the age of consent (more on that in Talking About: Age of Consent). Or perhaps we want them to think of sex in a loving relationship, or when they are married. However, some young people do have sex before they are 16. If your child is between 13 and 15, they can get contraception. You can decide how to approach this chat with them, but these are the facts.
Contraception services are free and confidential including for people under 16. If you are under 16 and want contraception a doctor, nurse or pharmacist can provide it. They will want to make sure you understand what contraception is for and how you use it.
Doctors, nurses and pharmacists have strict rules they must follow when dealing with young people aged 13 to 15. The doctor, nurse or pharmacist will not tell your parents or carers if you ask for contraception, or if you are given contraception. They will encourage you to consider telling your parents or carers, but they won’t make you.
Emergency Contraception
This is very important information and useful for young people to know and understand before (and if) they are having sex.
A young woman may need Emergency Contraception if they have had unprotected sex. Unprotected sex is sex without using any contraception, or if your contraceptive has failed – for example, your condom split.
Emergency contraception is a pill that a woman takes. Some pills can be taken up to 72 hours (3 days) after sex. Other pills can be taken up to 120 hours (5 days) after sex. The emergency contraception pill works better if you take it as soon as possible after sex.
You can get emergency contraception for free. You can get the emergency contraceptive pill from a local pharmacy/chemists and from a sexual health clinic.
A few things to remember
As we often say across the Chat, this won’t be a one-off conversation. So, across many chats you might want to remind you son or daughter of a few important things.
The only way to prevent a pregnancy is not to have sex or plan and use contraception.
Talking about contraception and/or condoms with your partner is important. It’s important to discuss what contraception you will use before you have sex and not make assumptions about whose responsibility it is. Both women and men can share responsibility for making good choices about contraception. If you have these discussions beforehand, then the experience of sex will be more relaxed, safe and enjoyable.
It’s important to remember that if a kind of contraception doesn’t work for someone, if there were to be side effects for example, they can go back to their doctor and find an alternative.
Contraception won’t protect you against STIs – you should use condoms as well.
Remember the importance of consent. Just because someone has sorted contraception or got condoms, it doesn’t mean they want to have sex. it just means they are planning ahead. You still need to talk and pay attention when it comes to consent.
Avoiding misinformation
Unfortunately, there is a lot of inaccurate information online about contraception – especially on social media. If you are chatting and your daughter or son is looking online for good information, or maybe they mention something that you think might not be right, you can make sure they use a trusted NHS source, like this one: Contraception | NHS inform
Other parts of the Chat will help you to explore other important aspects of being a teenager and thinking about relationships and sexual health: Talking about: Age of consent; Talking about: Pressures/Delaying or waiting for sex.