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Emotional wellbeing: Talking about Feelings

As parents we can help our children understand, talk about and manage their feelings. As they learn to do so we are supporting their emotional and social skills. You might hear teachers, or other professionals, talk about emotional wellbeing and emotional literacy, this means your child being able to recognise what they are feeling, and what others might be feeling, so that they can better manage social situations. Another thing you might hear is the term self-regulation – this means helping children to manage strong emotions, so that they can seek out help or learn how to calm down when they are feeling overwhelmed.

With all that said, let’s not forget how young our children are, at times they will feel strong emotions, and perhaps be a bit overwhelmed. Here are some suggestions as to how you can talk about emotional wellbeing and feelings together.

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Talking about our feelings

Children can learn to notice and name their feelings. You can ask how are you feeling right now? You can observe and name the feelings you sense are there in the moment or see being acted out. From happy to sad, excited to bored, anxious to excited… lots to name and take time to acknowledge as they happen.

You can ask about experiences that you have been told were difficult for your child, explaining to them you are interested in the feelings that they had. From their point of view, what was happening? As the story unfolds what were they feeling and why so? How did they, or how could they have managed those feelings?

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Short films to watch together

These films show children from Edinburgh primary schools talking about feelings and ways to understand and cope when feelings are strong.

Why it’s important to talk about your feelings: https://youtu.be/sOVLP3TLIYY?si=ZhCV76kD80zCQXGD (2 minutes 44 seconds)

Tips for when you’re feeling low: https://youtu.be/l9in_niXw2U?si=YWKsAk5Ow4VjbJwA (3 minutes 6 seconds)

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The importance of feeling safe

Feeling safe is crucial for a child’s healthy development. When a child feels safe, they can play, form relationships, and feel positive about themselves. Children who feel safe are better equipped to handle stressful situations and develop resilience, which is the ability to bounce back from adversity. What can we do as parents? We can give our child our love and affection, help them to talk about their feelings, be interested in their day-to-day lives at school and in the community, have boundaries that are consistent (these are the rules you have or the ways that you expect to do things), and try as best we can to have a routine.

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If you have questions or are worried about your child

If you have any concerns about your child being able to focus on tasks, remember things, sort out day-to-day problems, maybe they are not enjoying learning, or maybe they feel overwhelmed by their emotions – it can help to speak to a trusted person at your child’s school or to your GP. You can also contact ParentLine for free and in confidence: 08000 28 22 23 or go here for a link to the webchat and email facility: How Children 1st Parentline Can Support You | Children 1st

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your school or library might have them, or you can ask the library if they will order a book for you.

With lots of practical advice, this lively, accessible guide explains why we have emotions, and what can influence them. Covering everything from friendships, social media and bullying to divorce, depression and eating disorders.

The book acknowledges and explores common mental health disorders such as depression, eating disorders and anxiety, explores why they happen and discovers ways of looking after mental health in our fast-moving world.

A positive and empowering guide to help boys and girls build resilience and fulfil their potential.

Drawing examples from sport, science and even business, Dare to Be You empowers young readers to follow their own path, love what makes them different and question the world around them.

This practical guide combines cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness methods used by child psychologists in schools with simple activities to help children to build on their self-belief.

Introduces the language of self-love and self-care to help build resilience, while representing and celebrating diverse bodies, encouraging girls to appreciate their uniqueness. 

This practical guide combines proven cognitive-behavioural therapy methods used by child psychologists in schools with simple activities to help your child grow their self-esteem.

Covering topics including emotions, sleep, social media and mental health, this is easy to read and backed by scientific research. 

Explores all the realities of the parent-teen relationships.