theChat.scot

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Talking about equality and rights for women and girls

As our children grow, even in the teenage years, we want them to understand that they can be a girl or a boy who has interests, skills, hobbies, dreams and ambitions regardless of their sex. The reality though is that young people will pick up messages – sometimes quite subtle, but sometimes very direct and clear – that they should be or behave in a certain way just because they are a boy or a girl. Of course, ideas like this can also be heard within your own family and this can be tricky to challenge. It can also be the case that young people can be criticised or have stereotypes imposed by their peers. 

Some of the best chats happen when you child has had an experience of their own that they want to talk about, maybe because they have a sense of the injustice of something, or maybe because they don’t understand what has happened.

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Talking about gender stereotypes and gender equality

If your daughter or son is wondering what someone means when they talk about gender stereotypes this might help.

Gender stereotypes are the are the beliefs that certain roles, jobs, behaviours or opportunities are considered appropriate for someone just based on their sex, so just because they are a man or a woman. Things like men are expected to be strong, independent and focused on their career, while women are expected to be responsible for the home, for childcare and not prioritise their job or other interests. While none of these things are wrong for any individual person, it’s when someone tries to say that’s how a person should be just because they are a man or a woman, that’s a gender stereotype.

There may be opportunities to chat about your child’s own experiences or observations about what goes on at school, amongst friends and even at home. In school, are young people ever treated unequally or discriminated against based on their gender? What needs to change? What would help create a gender equal school? What about here at home, does everyone chip in equally?

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Feminism

Talking about equality between girls and boys, women and men, might provide an opportunity to talk about feminism. These words might help.

Feminism is the belief that everyone – girls and boys, women and men – should have equal rights and opportunities. Feminists are people who do their best to make sure that girls and women have the same chances in life as boys and men. If something is holding girls or women back from being equal, then feminists will try to change that.

Your child might come back with the question: But what’s feminism got to do with boys? This response might help.

It’s true that feminism is about equality for girls and women – but if girls and women are treated equally then it means boys and men don’t have to put up with stereotypes either. At the end of the day, the more respect we give each other, the more we treat each other equally, the world will be a more equal and happier place.

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Sexism and misogyny

Developing your conversations, it might be helpful to name and discuss what sexism and misogyny are. It is likely young people will have heard of sexism, but there is a lot in mainstream and social media about misogyny. They might want or need to understand what this is. These explanations might help.

Sexism is a kind of prejudice and discrimination. Sexism is the belief that members of one sex are less intelligent or less capable than those of the other sex. Sexism is when someone is treated unfairly just because of their sex.

Misogyny is more than the kinds of prejudice or discrimination that we see when we talk about sexism. Misogyny is more like a hatred of girls and women. It is a belief that men should dominate over women. This is an idea that is harmful and hurtful to girls and women and boys and men.

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If your child uses derogatory language

If your child uses a negative language or expresses views that concern you, take a moment and explore what they have said and where they might have heard such a thing. While we have made progress across society, children will still hear sexist and misogynistic language and attitudes, in real life and perhaps especially across social media. While we would hope our teenage children understand the impact of words and ideas, some of this is commonplace. To get into a conversation about this, be gentle rather than scolding. You could start with: Let’s talk about that for a minute…

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Books

These books might be of interest. Maybe you could both read them and chat. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

An anthology with contributions by feminists from all walks of life. A set of stories and sentiments about the continued search for gender equality through the ages. 

The history, pioneers, theories, questions, arguments and daily reality of feminism today.

Each life story is accompanied by a portrait, along with stories on hard-fought causes and iconic quotes.