Talking about finding and using sexual health services
As parents we want our teenage children to delay sexual activity until they are old enough to make good decisions and keep themselves safe and healthy. As a family you might have beliefs or rules that encourages your teenage child to think about sexual activity in the context of loving relationships, or of marriage. Whatever your view, one of the foundations we can give them is an understanding of where to get support and information (as well as from you) when they need it.
There are ideas here to support your chats. One thing you might also want to do is a bit of research about where young people in your area can go. So, is there a dedicated young people’s clinic? Is there a free condoms service? Does your local GP feel like a friendly place for young people? You might also think about encouraging and supporting your child to use the local GP service independently, so they can build trust with the GPs.
Talking about sexual health
To support your chats, you can explain what sexual health is like this.
Your sexual health is to do with your body, your relationships, being safe when you have sex and thinking about contraception. You have a right to be healthy, happy and safe. When you are ready, having a relationship and having sex should be a positive and pleasurable experience.
What is a sexual health service?
As well as support and information from you, if you want to encourage your teenager to find out about and use local services, this might help.
When it comes to your relationships and your sexual health, I am always here for you. But there are professional people and services that can help you to have good sexual health. A sexual health service is a place where you can get information and support about anything to do with sex and relationships. It can be at a sexual health clinic, a young people’s drop-in or our local GP.
At a sexual health service or clinic, you can get these things:
Free contraception and condoms.
Free pregnancy testing.
You can talk about relationships.
There is testing for STIs (sexually transmitted infections) if you ever need it.
There’s also advice and referrals for termination of pregnancy (abortion).
These services are for everyone – you are welcome whatever your gender or sexuality.
Finding sexual health services
You can find services here: Sexual health clinics | NHS Inform
More about confidentiality
Your daughter or son might want to be reassured about confidentiality if they use a service. You can explain these things to them if that helps.
In sexual health services, all young people have a right to confidentially. No personal details or information about the tests or treatments can be shared with anyone outside the sexual health service without the young person’s permission, unless the health professional thinks that the young person is at risk of harm.
If you go to a GP, the same rules apply. Doctors and nurses have very strict rules on confidentiality. Everything a patient tells them – their personal details and medical records – are kept completely private. A doctor or nurse might encourage a young person to tell a trusted adult if they think the young person needs help and support.
Can you get help, information or contraception before you are 16?
At this age it might be that a boyfriend/girlfriend is younger, possibly under 16. As a couple your child and partner might be thinking about contraception or sexual health and be wondering if they can both go to a service, even when one of them is under 16. It is important that young people understand the age of consent is 16. With that in mind under 16s can still get information, support and services like contraception if they need them. This explains how this works, you might want to share this as part of a chat.
13-, 14- or 15-year-olds who are having sex, or thinking about having sex, might be worried about the law. But sexual health clinics see young people aged 13 and over. It is confidential. They will encourage them to talk with their parent or other adults they trust, but they are not allowed to tell their parent or carer. So, if they speak to a nurse or doctor at a clinic, they will keep your information private. They will check that they are safe. They will not share information about someone who is 13, 14 or 15 unless someone is harming them or they are in danger.
Moving to adult services
Some local services for young people are for up to 18-year-olds, in some places when a young person is 18, they move to their local adult services. When you look for information – in preparation for your chats, or with your teenage child – you can find out what happens locally.
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