Social Media/Digital Lives

Talking about social media/digital lives

Families can have different rules about what kind of access young people have to social media, but for most young people there is an increased importance given to the digital aspects of their lives – whether for connecting with others, entertainment or learning. Whatever your thoughts and approaches on this, now and in the future, the content here will help you talk to your child about being safe and happy online, build skills and encourage them to trust their instinct when something is (or feels) wrong or upsetting.

It might be worth chatting about what you and they know about how algorithms work – these collect information about what you do online, then they filter and personalise the content you see. So, if you or your teenage child clicks and watches something, likes or comments on something they can then get related things presented back to them, as if it were an actual interest they have. Perhaps they have noticed this, or it has resulted in content they don’t want to see.

At this age you are still their safe and trusted person.

Your learning and awareness come first

Internetmatters.org provides information for parents and carers here Teens 14+ online safety advice and expert tips | Internet Matters This includes a short video to talk you through key things and all the guidance you need can be read and downloaded and shared.

Pornography

It may be upsetting to have to consider this, but in their teenage years most young people are exposed to pornography. They can come across it easily and accidentally. Or someone is sharing it with them. If you want to give your child some information so that they understand what they might see, look at Talking about: Pornography.

Social media and mental health

Social media can have a positive impact on young people’s mental health, but it can also make them feel anxious and overwhelmed. If you are worried for your child, or just want to help them look after themselves online you could take a look at this information and resource from YoungMinds and decide if you’d like to share with them: Social Media and Mental Health | Tips and Advice | YoungMinds

Sextortion

There is now a situation where young people are being asked to send/share images and then they are being threatened that these will be shared. They might be asked for money, or to make and share images that are more explicit. We have used the word ‘sextortion’ but young people might just call it being blackmailed, that someone is threatening to leak their nudes, getting scammed or tricked. As you chat you can look out for any of these words and the worry that your child has about something that is going on for them online.

If your child knows that you know this happens (so this is a topic that you could consider bringing up) you can give the message that you are there to listen and to understand, and never to blame or shame. This explanation might help.

Have you heard about this? Sextortion is when a person online gets someone to send them nudes or intimate pictures, then they threaten that they will share these unless they get money, or the person shares more images with them.

What will happen is that someone will set themselves up to be someone that you might be attracted to, or they will contact you. They might use images and a profile that isn’t really them. They chat and then start to ask for images – they might share images that they say are of them, but they aren’t them. They might ask you to change platform, to something more private.

It’s often done by criminal gangs set up to do this. It’s easy to get conned. And it leaves people feeling devastated and embarrassed. If you ever feel you’ve got caught up, please come and speak to me or get advice from someone you trust. It’s never too late to stop it. I will never make you feel embarrassed about this. It happens. Please do your best to make sure it doesn’t, so just don’t share images with someone you have only met online, chances are they just aren’t who they say they are.

For more on related topics: Talking About Sending and Sharing Images.

Finding support, including how to report and remove sexual images and videos

If you are concerned that your child (or another child) is being manipulated, threatened or abused online by another child or adult (known to them or someone pretending to be someone) you should seek advice from a professional person you trust. You can call ParentLine for free: 08000 28 22 23 or go here for a link to the webchat and email facility: How Children 1st Parentline Can Support You | Children 1st or check out this information from CEOP, the national agency that works to support the safety and wellbeing of children and young people online: Parents and carers | CEOP Education

Report Remove is here to help young people under 18 to confidentially report sexual images and videos of themselves and remove them from the internet: Report Remove | Childline If this happens to your child you can help them to use such a service and also help them to keep talking or find additional support if that will help.

Help, advice and resources to share

Here are things you could share with your teenage child.

Mind Yer Time is for everyone who loves social media and screen time, with positive tips, stories and information for young people to help them use screen time positively Home – Mind Yer Time

Childnet shares guidance and tips to help young people navigate and enjoy the online world: 11–18 year olds | Childnet