Talking about social media/digital lives
At this age young people will be leading digital lives that you are probably quite disconnected from. Their independence and privacy will matter a great deal to them. When you can, you can still check in with them and have chats that help them understand that you want their digital lives to be safe, and for them to feel in control of their online activity.
It might be worth chatting about what you and they know about how algorithms work – these collect information about what you do online, then they filter and personalise the content you see. So, if you or your teenage child clicks and watches something, likes or comments on something they can then get related things presented back to them, as if it were an actual interest they have. Perhaps they have noticed this, or it has resulted in content they don’t want to see.
At this age you are still their safe and trusted person.
Your learning and awareness come first
Internetmatters.org provides information for parents and carers here Teens 14+ online safety advice and expert tips | Internet Matters This includes a short video to talk you through key things and all the guidance you need can be read and downloaded and shared.
Pornography
In their teenage years many young people are exposed to pornography. They can come across it easily and accidentally. Someone may be sharing it with them. They may now be choosing to watch it. If you want to give your child some information so that they think about this, look at Talking About: Pornography
Social media and mental health
Social media can have a positive impact on young people’s mental health, but it can also make them feel anxious and overwhelmed. If you are worried for your child, or just want to help them look after themselves online you could take a look at this information and resource from YoungMinds and decide if you’d like to share with them: Social Media and Mental Health | Tips and Advice | YoungMinds
Sextortion
There is now a situation where young people are being asked to send/share images and then they are being threatened that these will be shared. They might be asked for money, or to make and share images that are more explicit. We have used the word ‘sextortion’ but young people might just call it being blackmailed, that someone is threatening to leak their nudes, getting scammed or tricked. As you chat you can look out for any of these words and the worry that your child has about something that is going on for them online.
If your child knows that you know this happens, (so this is a topic that you could consider bringing up) you can give the message that you are there to listen and to understand, and never to blame or shame. This explanation might help.
Have you heard about this? Sextortion is when a person online gets someone to send them nudes or intimate pictures, then they threaten that they will share these unless they get money, or the person shares more images with them.
What will happen is that someone will set themselves up to be someone that you might be attracted to, or they will contact you. They might use images and a profile that isn’t really them. They chat and then start to ask for images – they might share images that they say are of them, but they aren’t them. They might ask you to change platform, to something more private.
It’s often done by criminal gangs set up to do this. It’s easy to get conned. And it leaves people feeling devastated and embarrassed. If you ever feel you’ve got caught up, please come and speak to me or get advice from someone you trust. It’s never too late to stop it. I will never make you feel embarrassed about this. It happens. Please do your best to make sure it doesn’t, so just don’t share images with someone you have only met online, chances are they just aren’t who they say they are.
For more on related topics: Talking About Sending and Sharing Images.
Dating/hook up apps
To use these apps, you are supposed to be 18. Like other parts of the Chat, this might be a topic that you want to bring up before your teenager’s curiosity leads them to using them. There is a lot to think about here – and it’s one of those things that it is best to get up to date on yourself before or as you chat together. There is lots of good information here – for you and for your teenage child: Online Dating Resources and Advice for Teens | Internet Matters
Find support, including how to report and remove sexual images and videos
If you are concerned that your child (or another young person) is being manipulated, threatened or abused online by another child or adult (known to them or someone pretending to be someone) you should seek advice from a professional person you trust. You can call ParentLine for free: 08000 28 22 23 or go here for a link to the webchat and email facility: How Children 1st Parentline Can Support You | Children 1st or check out this information from CEOP, the national agency that works to support the safety and wellbeing of children and young people online: Parents and carers | CEOP Education
Report Remove
Report Remove is here to help young people under 18 to confidentially report sexual images and videos of themselves and remove them from the internet: Report Remove | Childline
If this happens to your child you can help them to use such a service and also help them to keep.
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