theChat.scot

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Talking about some people are lesbian, gay or bisexual

Talking about people being lesbian, gay or bisexual will be influenced to some extent by the visibility of lesbian, gay or bisexual people in your family life. As a parent you may be lesbian or gay or bisexual. Your child might have older siblings, relatives or family friends that are. Children are also meeting and getting to know lesbian, gay and bisexual people at school and in the community. In terms of conversations with children of this age, we can explain sexual orientation through the lens of love and relationships.

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What is lesbian, gay or bisexual?

We say a person is gay when they love someone of the same sex, this can be used when we talk about two men together or two women together.

We say a person is lesbian when a woman loves a woman (so for women we can say gay or lesbian).

We say a person is bisexual when they can be in love with a person who is the same sex as them, or someone of a different sex.

We don’t know why a person is lesbian or gay or bisexual, they just are, and that’s okay.

We say a person is heterosexual is when people of a different sex love each other, so a woman and a man.

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If your child uses derogatory language

If your child uses a negative slang word for lesbian, gay or bisexual people, or says something that you feel is discriminatory, or sounds like prejudice, take a moment and explore what they have said and where they might have heard such a thing. While we have made progress across society, children will still hear homophobic language. And often when they are young, they don’t understand the impact of words. To get into a conversation about this, be gentle rather than scolding. You could start with comments like: Let’s talk about that for a minute… Okay, could you tell me where you heard that?

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More support for your chats

Your conversations might be supported by looking at other parts of the Chat. In the section of the Chat called Questions Children and Young People Ask you will find some suggestions as to how to answer this question: Why does she have two mummies/Can gay/lesbian people have babies? There are other topics that you can look at that might connect with conversations about equality and diversity: Talking About Fairness, kindness and equality, and Talking About Respect.

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Books

You might like to read these books together. Your library might have them, or you can ask them if they will order a book for you.

Four brothers, two dads, and various pets make up the realistic, loving, and sometimes hectic family Fletcher.

When Ivy’s 12, her family’s home gets levelled by a tornado. In the temporary shelter, Ivy makes a new friend, June, and discovers she’s developing a crush on her. Ivy’s emerging lesbian identity is gently handled, as she fantasizes about holding June‘s hand and slow dancing at the school dance.